Tenor Jokes

Q: What's the musical definition of a half-step?

> A: Two tenors singing in unison.

– TahongaWaka

Lead Jokes

A lead walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"

– AnonymousGnome

A young boy tells his mother, "Mom, when I grow up, I want to sing lead in a barbershop quartet." His mother tells him, "Well, honey, you know you can't do both."

- David Baker

What's the difference between a lead and an onion? No one cries when you chop up a lead.

Baritone Jokes

Q: How many Baritone jokes are there?

> A: Just one. The rest are true.

– TahongaWaka

Q: Where does the word "Baritone" come from?

A: That is short for "Barren of Tone"

Bass Jokes

There are no Bass jokes. If you joke about a Bass, they'll make their half-steps too large and their 5ths too small and make the other parts sound out of tune.

How do you get two basses to sing in perfect unison? Shoot one.

– TahongaWaka

What do you call a bass with half a brain? Gifted.

ALL Parts Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the baritone section rehearsal.

What's the difference between a lawn mower and a tenor? You can tune the lawn mower.

What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and a baritone? One of them's loud, offensive, abrasive, and loved by a few mis-guided weirdos. The other's a TV commentator.

What's the range of a lead? About ten yards, if you've got a good arm.

How do you get a lead to sound like a baritone? Have him sing louder, flatter, and miss every third note.

What did the bass get on his IQ test? Drool.

How can you tell when a tenor is out of tune? His lips are moving.

What do baritones use for birth control? Their personalities.

How do you know if a lead section is at your front door? No one knows when to come in, and they can't find the key.

Why are Barbershop show intermissions limited to twenty minutes? So they don't have to retrain the bass section.

How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? When the other tenors notice.

Why do Barbershoppers rock left and right while performing on stage? Because it's more difficult to hit a moving target.

So, two basses walk past a bar.... Hey! It could happen!

How do you get a lead to stop singing? Give him a sheet of music.

"Hey buddy - How late does the chorus sing?" "Oh, about a half a beat behind the director."

How do you put a twinkle in a tenor's eye? Shine a flashlight in his ear.

What do you call a lead who can sight read? A baritone.

If you drop a bass and a watermelon off a tall building at the same time,which one hits the ground first? Who cares?

How does a lead change a light bulb? He just holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

How many basses does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just light candles and open a bottle of wine.

How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to do it, and five to say, "It's too high."

How many baritones does it take to change a light bulb? A whole section. One to climb the ladder while the rest calculate the Pythagorean implications and argue about the pitch of the roof.

How many directors does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, I wasn't watching.

- HarmoLead?

How many barbershoppers does it take to change a light bulb? 5 - 1 to change the bulb and 4 to sing about how much they miss "that old lightbulb of mine" (It actually takes 9. You forgot the 4 to plan the afterglow)

- George Gorsuch